Gangster squirrels are accomplished thieves, routinely and skillfully raiding vending machines, gardens, bird-feeders, picnic sites and grocery stores. College students say rogue squirrels make off with Taco Bell lunches, showing a fondness for Mexican fast food.

A Finnish grocery store manager receives twice-daily visits from a gangster squirrel who steals "Kinder Surprise" chocolate eggs. The hoodlum enters the shop, helps himself to an egg, carefully peels away the foil and consumes the chocolate, which has a toy in the center. The bandit then makes off with the toy, showing no interest in other merchandise.

The Cincinnati Zoo reports that gangster squirrels have been stealing bulbs from their Festival of Lights holiday display for 20 years, requiring the zoo to replace 75,000 bulbs every year. A UK woman says a mob of squirrels made off with all 250 holiday lights decorating a tree in her backyard. She theorized that the outlaws use the lights for their own "mobile disco."

Canadian news reported that gangster squirrels steal hundreds of golf balls from the greens while games are in progress. One tree contained over 250 balls. The hoodlums have also stolen US flags from the graves of American solders. One flag was torn to shreds and used to construct a gigantic nest in a nearby tree. A gangster squirrel stole a woman's fleece from her porch, taking half and leaving the rest in a nearby alley covered with squirrel-spit.

In 2006, a spate of terrorist and kamikaze attacks by gangster squirrels caused worldwide concern about a possible uprising.

A subversive squirrel did battle with citizens and police during a week-long "reign of terror" in Florida. Police disabled the outlaw with pepper spray after it stalked 3 women, threatened police, and terrorized a child. The squirrel was finally taken into custody by animal control agents.

A kamikaze squirrel caused a power outage in the UK when it shorted out a cable by touching two conductors simultaneously. A suicide squirrel attacked a US power substation by leaping onto the roof, causing "an electrical arc that would have achieved temperatures of up to 10,000 degrees," damaging circuits, and causing a power outage before being electrocuted.

Another suicide squirrel took out power at an Arkansas courthouse by stepping on a transformer and causing a short circuit, explosion, and loud bang. A kamikaze gangster, traversing a power line in Texas, leaped onto a transformer, caught fire, and fell to the ground, starting a 30-acre blaze which damaged a house, motorcycle, and 11 cars.

A Finnish opera singer was knocked unconscious and suffered a broken nose when a kamikaze squirrel launched itself into the spokes of his moving bicycle. A US postal worker was jumped and injured while delivering mail. A four-year old California boy was assaulted at a picnic after unwrapping a muffin, resulting in a statewide "war on squirrels."

In 2007, a terrorist squirrel covertly boarded an American Airlines flight from Tokyo to Texas, forcing pilots to make an emergency landing in Hawaii. It was feared that the renegade would chew through the plane's wiring, causing a crash. The plane was evacuated while the offending squirrel was hunted down and taken into custody.

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